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Friday, August 22, 2008 | 8:57 AM

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Want to see what passes for scholarly research with the great brainz inside Washington think-tankery these days? Watch and amaze as the crazy people at the Heritage Foundation discuss these "Casas de Alba" that have been popping up in Peru in recent months:
Alba means "dawn" in Spanish, but the people of rural Peru are learning that, for them, it might mean a return to the dark nights of tyranny they experienced in the 1980s when guerilla groups such as the Maoist Sendero Luminoso (Shining Path) and the Communist Tupac Amaru Revolutionary Movement (MRTA) terrorized the Peruvian countryside.
Holy Mac! Terrorisms?! So just what exactly are these Casas de Alba, anyway, indigeo-jihadist training camps? Haha, not exactly. As the LA Times notes, they are "social service centers" for low income folk that help "thousands of poor Peruvians to receive free medical care from Cuban doctors working in Bolivia under Operation Miracle, a Chavez health initiative. Cuban educators in Bolivia are also training Peruvian volunteers for a related literacy campaign."
Wait, health clinics? What does that have to do with the Shining Path again? Back to you, Heritage:
The unimaginative and retrograde collectivist socialist models aggressively peddled by Chavez, Morales, and others are proven failures, but getting the positive message of prosperity through market-based democracy to the poor in rural Peru is increasingly difficult when that message is drowned out by the well-funded ALBA houses.Ok, so the, uh...point?... is that if the Peruvian poor are getting their health and education needs met, then we'll never be able to win them over to market-based democracy, which is too imaginative to waste schools and hospitals on dirt eaters. And so it's all just like terrorism, somehow, or something. Honestly I've waded through the whole 12 pages of footnoted crazy talk six times now and I still don't get it.
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